Some thoughts about 2012

Here they are, though they be brief.

• Rooftops-Mountainsides-Beachfronts-Cube
• $$$$$-$$$$-$$$-$$
• Can eat anything I want – Gain weight looking at food
• Coleman’s favorite hobby is vomiting. He never misses a rug.
• I witnessed a ridiculous number of trees come down.
• I started to settle into my family.
• Moved into a season of curious learning with God, and out of a season of deafening silence.
• Still think about smoking every day. Wish it was healthy.
• My life is full of transitions, and my husband is a constant. He is mine and I am his.
• Sleep isn’t super necessary anymore.

Scariest and most exciting thought in my head right now: Heaven is not a place for people who are scared of hell, it’s a place for people that love God.

I don’t know what this blog is anymore, but I like looking back and remembering, because my time is flying by. Here’s to more updates in 2013.

Friends Forever

I got to reconnect with a friend today, someone that I haven’t been able to communicate with for years. We were both in seasons of life where it was inappropriate for us to speak with one another, so we just didn’t. That is a weird sentence to type, but I think that it’s good to acknowledge things like that. Sometimes, it’s OK to not be friends with someone. Sometimes, you have to step back and let some time march by before all of a sudden you’re back in the relationship and it’s like time never even went anywhere at all.

I used to think I was pretty smart. This is why comparing yourself to other humans is bad, because in light of most decision making (peopleofwalmart.com, anyone?)  you can suddenly seem kind of above average. That turns into pride, which inevitably leads to destruction. So you flit through your twenties comparing your success to the people around you thinking maybe you’ve got your life together, and then you realize you don’t.

As a kid in church I’d heard the phrase “guard your heart” and I really thought I got that, and maybe I did for that season of life. But now married (um, again) and a step-mom, I see it in a completely new way. Friendships are a privilege because they take time away from relationships that are a right. My step-kids have the right to my time and attention, and so does my husband. So I guard my heart against certain friendships. Which is why, even though I was glad to rekindle this particular friendship for a few hours, I know sooner than later I’ll step away again.